WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Seriously, pal, what the frick is going on here? It's like a clusterfuck of crazy, and I'm just trying to figure out it all. Is this even a dream? This whole thing is giving me a headache. Can someone please give me the lowdown before I snap? What The Crap?! Dude, this is totally ridiculous. I'm so pissed right now. It's like the universe just